.Tuesday, November 24, 2009 ' 12:54:00 PM Y
hahaas.peepo!!! lonq time nvr bloq lerhhx.u quys must hv miss-ed me damm much sia.hahaas.
butbut aniwae,i'm bck yea.
ehh.i had a qood start todayyy.i mean my mum seldom not naq me to wake up de.but yea.todayyy she didnt naq.hahaas.
so yea.i overslept.
butbut nt my fault larhhx.
i was still dreaminq of tat quy who was screaminq a total crazy note yesterdae.
opps.ferr ppl who doesnt noe who, it's a quy frm dunman sec choir if i'm nt wronq yea.
they had a rehersal concert thinq tqt wif SJI, CJC and raffles choir at SJI chapel.
den tis quy screamed a reely superb-freakinq hiqh note.yea.i dreamt of it.hahaas.
yea.i woke up.did de usual stuff den went out ferr smth yea.
i reely wanted to qo de nyp business school's attachment de.haixx.bt i quess i'm qonna hv to miss-ed it lerhhx.
ehh.den when i was out in de bus,it seem-ed lyk i cld tink thru so much.
i mean i reely thot thru alot.
hahaas.
i realised tis freakinq world is damm realistic.
even ur bestfrens betray u ferr their own benefits or simply just cos dey feel lyk dnq so.it's lyk superb hurtful butbut yea.let's just accept it as a fact barhhx.
yea.recently a senior of nanchiau chorale asked if dere was sm-one i lyk.she said cos my msn msq sounded lyk i was in love.hahaas.
yea.but tat was once.nt nw.
i quess ferr no apparent reason,i qave up.
a damm lot of thinqs happened de last time i dated sm-one.
love shld b superb sweet de barhhx.but i quess i had lost de feelinq damm lonq aqo.
i love-ed and nw,all is left are thinqs to clear out and frens to b beware of.
i quess i'm just dwn on my luck barhhx.
i want my relationship to b one tat is reely nice yea.
butbut sm ppl reely tore my heart and broke-ed my trust.
andand dere r ppl who just cant accept break-ups and do smth to hurt you inturn.
tats reely bad yea.
andthen sm ppl reely close to you just makes it worse by spreadinq thinqs tat aren't true yea.
it's reely qod damm hard to pretend you dunno all these thinqs dey said bout you,wher in actual fact,you noe everythinq,be it fact or fake.
it's just hard to pretense and smile and still call dem frens,or even "sisters".
to me,hurtinq my frens lyk tat wld probably b de last thinq on earth to do.butbut i quess ppl r all different andand ppl do qrow.
perhaps i'm just too slow.
and now,i tink i realised,i learnt and i qrew.
sm thinqs r beta left unsaid.
sm times we just hv to pretend.
all tat is left to do is to accept.
accept de fact tat frens and sisters r humans too.dey hv desires.
accept de fact tat tis is a cruel world wif realistic society.nt everyone blieves you butbut i quess we cant qive up?
andand.
accept de fact tat dreams r meant ferr bedtime,and fairytales dun exist.ppl you tink will love you miqht just end up hurtinq you.
accept de fact tat hopes miqht not b tat stronq to last.hopes do break.
yea.i quess dere's tons mre stuffs to accept.butbut hw nuch mre cn i take?
if ppl do betray,ppl do doubt you,ppl do hurt you and hopes do break,den wadd is left?
i wld want to smile and say "it's okayys."
i wld want to smile and say "let's start aqain."
i wld want to smile and say "ppl do make mistakes."
i wld want to smile and say "i believe."
even if i'm hurtinq lyk hell,i wld still wanna smile and blieve.
perhaps it's just stupid butbut tis is me.
so dun hurt me.
dun hurt anyone.
it just doesnt feel riqht.
and it's nt left too.
hahaas.yea.
i want frens to be true.
i want love to be real.
i want fairytales to exist.
i want hopes to prevail.
i want de world to have peace.
i want everyone to be happy.
i want smiles tat will never disappear.
i want memories tat will nvr fade.
hahaas.yea.abit too qreedy butbut forqive me.
hahaas.
